Does Robert Murray, who owns “Murray Energy Corporation”, shove coal up his ass?

Rumors I’ve heard suggest that Robert Murray, the owner of “Murray Energy Corporation”, likes to shove clumps of coal up his rectum for sexual pleasure.

Obviously I just made that up and don’t really mean it. But I felt compelled to write this in support of first amendment rights after I learned that the aforementioned individual decided to sue comedian John Oliver and the “Last Week Tonight” show:

Mr. Murray is the type of individual I would not piss on if they were on fire. Society is better off is such “snowflakes” are culled from the herd.